Pinned: Welcome to Jollier Roger Cove!

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Here be the official website of Jollier Roger; a pirate/fantasy book series on the Amazon Kindle and in print, too! It’s a hilarious and epic adventure that follows the strange and aloof young pirate captain, James Roberts, on his 18th century treasure hunt across the Caribbean. He’s after the legendary Magic Treasures, and so are a slew of bloodthirsty foes and breathtaking monsters!

Click the button to yer right to get email updates on new posts on this blog and updates about Jollier Roger and the jollier community. Ye’ll love the fortune-tellings of Grandmum Roberts, the misadventures of the waggerbiter, the mindless babble of Chuck Farthing and Davy Bones, or the letters of the Jollier Roger himself! We’ve kick-started the whole site, so there be plenty in store.

By Steven (@Aka_Hinotae) Posted in Update

Life With The Jollier Roger

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The evening is wearing down, the air humid and crew expended with the heat. There comes a knock on the door of the great cabin. No reply. Slowly, the pale visage of Captain James Roberts looks up to see the door opening, despite his ignoring it.

The young Spaniard enters, Estavan Acosta. “Come in…” says the captain with some irony.

“James.”

“Captain.”

“Whatever! The men are exhausted and the ship is canting.”

James gestures to himself. “And what am I expected to do about your problems?”

“MY problems?! It’s YOUR ship! Sometimes I find your lack of care appalling. What would you do if we suddenly struck an iceberg?”

The captain thought, long and hard, leaning back in his tall-backed chair and tapping his finger-tips together luxuriously. “Sink, eventually. But first I should spend a great deal of time wondering how an iceberg found its way into the Caribbean Sea.”

“Ugh…”

“Is that all?”

“Yes…”

“Well then! back to work with you.”

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Join the adventure for 99c! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IZPYY1S

Jollier Interview: Kristin Missy

Welcome to another Jollier Interview, where we take ordinary but amazing folks such as yerselves, then ask them questions as if they were bigshots! Today we’re sitting down with Kristin Missy.


 

Question: Would ye be a good sort of pirate, or a bad one?

Kristin Missy: A good one.

Question: Good to hear! Bein’ a good pirate and all, do you see yarself accomplishing great things as a pirate?

Kristin Missy: Semi-great thing, yes.

Question: Well it sounds like ye’ve got yer expectations good and balanced! Now picture this; the treasure chest is slippin’. Ye can only grab one piece o’ treasure. Do you grab the gold coin, the jewel, or the silver trinket?

Continue reading

Where in the World is the Waggerbiter? Part 2

But first, what in the world is the waggerbiter? Simple; the waggerbiter is an inky-impish-penguin-like creature existent in a number of stories and thus able to cross dimensions and so forth, but-! We won’t bore you with the details. This is the story of the waggerbiter, Jaake Finch, and his travels across the world. Our world.

When we last saw our hero, he had just been kicked by an unruly camel, and before he could even come to understand what sort of creature had inflicted the blow, Jaake Finch landed on the peak of a large triangular structure amidst the sands .

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A portal opened, and the curious wanderer entered…

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Jollier Interview: Brian Collis

Welcome to the latest edition of the Jollier Roger interview. Today we sit down with Brian Collis, a good shipmate to have, and we ask him a few piratey questions. So without much more delay, here we go!

Question 1 – First things first, why should ye be a pirate? Tell us!

Answer: All rivers lead to the sea, and all human souls try ‘n follow. I’m sure that’s why everyone in a landlocked environment deep down is sad and unfulfilled. They may say otherwise, but I’m convinced they’re lyin, tryin desperately to justify livin where they can’t smell the brine. Once on the sea o’ course, a pirate’s life is the clear choice… Cut off from all human institutions, at the mercy o wind and tide is how to achieve the freedom the soul seeks.

Continue reading

By Steven (@Aka_Hinotae) Posted in Interview

Where in the World is the Waggerbiter?

 

But first, what in the world is the waggerbiter? Simple; the waggerbiter is an inky-impish-penguin-like creature existent in a number of stories and thus able to cross dimensions and so forth, but-! We won’t bore you with the details. This is the story of the waggerbiter, Jaake Finch, and his travels across the world. Our world.

When last we saw Jaake Finch, he was crashing in the waves. Jaake Finch later washed ashore, and meant to settle the little matter of a contest to see who could guess where he might appear next, but the idea of winners and losers prompted him to do some searching, and so he decided to forgo the contest and simply share his travels with the rest of the world.

These travels took him to an arid land of sand, heat, and more sand. “Someone dumped sand all over the place!” he remarked upon arrival, “and look! Someone dented that horse’s back!”

waggerbiter

Of course, being the intelligent impish creature that he is, the waggerbiter didn’t take long to realize this was a camel. He just needed the creature to kick him hard enough in the face, launching him through the air with a sickly cry of dismay and finally landing him atop a great pyramid, to really appreciate how healthy the animal was.

But upon landing, the waggerbiter discovered an opening in the sandstone bricks. He entered, and found a dark passage leading deeper into the shadows…

-to be continued.

Jollier Interview: Ruben Cordova

Arghhh, maties! Get ready for another Jollier Interview. We sat down with pirate Ruben Cordova to ask him some piratey questions. Here’s what he had to say.

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Question: Let’s start out with the basics. What is the most piratical thing about ye?

Ruben: Me ugly face and me evil eyes.

Question: Two fine qualifications. So then, if ye had a ship, what kind would she be, what would ye name her, and for what reason would ye jump ship?

Ruben: So I think I have me a sloop and her name be “The Wicked Sea Wench” I would never jump ship for I be Captain a Captain goes down with the ship.

Question: Hear, hear! Next… Suppose ye’re at sea and some coins o’ yers go missing. It’s either the cook, the cooper, or the rigger who stole them. Which one do ye blame first?

Ruben: I accuse the cook cause fer the scallywag have free range of the ship whilst we on deck

Question: Aye! But later on, suppose, ye find ye just misplaced them coins. Do ye make a clean breast of it at the sake o’ yer pride, or concoct a grand story about how it’s still the cook who took them?

Ruben: I make a grand story of the whole thing and have the cook flogged. Fear keeps a tight ship.

Question: Can’t argue with that! and between the evil eyes and the flogging, ye seem all set. All ye need now is a pirate pet, and it can’t be a bird of any sort. What do ye pick?

Ruben: A large Frilled Lizard

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And thar we go! Another exhilarating interview with another fine pirate. Now I ask, does any mother’s sons (or daughters) of ye want to be next? All ye need to do is like pirates. Can’t get much simpler than that! Message us, or speak up in the comments below.

By Steven (@Aka_Hinotae) Posted in Interview

Comin’ Mighty Soon: Jolly Rogers on Jollier Roger Cove!

‘ow is that for a tongue-twister, mates? Well it’s true though; in a few days we’ll be gatherin’ up all the most legendary flags of the worst buccaneers to ever set sail and trivializing them all onto one page for yer viewing pleasure! No need to thank us, but ye can make sure to subscribe for updates on new posts and such. The button is right there on the side. Then once we get the page up ye’ll be the first to know!

– Jollier Staff

By Steven (@Aka_Hinotae) Posted in Update

International Talk Like A Pirate Day, 2015!

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Argh, maties! We hope ye be havin’ as much fun as we are, talkin’ like salty sea-dogs and sich. Of course we does that all the time here, but we get to really go overboard today! If ye haven’t already, head on over to our Facebook page and join in on the piratey pictures and fun!

– Jollier Staff

By Steven (@Aka_Hinotae) Posted in News

Dogban on Pirate #Torture

“Some people ask me, they says, ‘Dogban… You’re the first mate aboard The Bottle. You sail wiff Cap’n Roberts alls the time. Does he torture folks?’ And the answer I always gives ’em is ‘Aye, aye!’ Though, the cap’n never did things the usual way. He believes torture should be instructive. So, if he catches ya drinkin’, he makes ya drink ’til ya give back more than ya took. He doesn’t like plank walking, though he does sometimes dip offenders in oil. Cold oil. And then there’s squid-slapping, bilge-mopping, and Tenika, she’s the best stinkin’ torture tool he’s got! Get it-?”

– First Mate Dogban
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IZPYY1S