Jollier Interview: Kristin Missy

Welcome to another Jollier Interview, where we take ordinary but amazing folks such as yerselves, then ask them questions as if they were bigshots! Today we’re sitting down with Kristin Missy.


Question: Would ye be a good sort of pirate, or a bad one?

Kristin Missy: A good one.

Question: Good to hear! Bein’ a good pirate and all, do you see yarself accomplishing great things as a pirate?

Kristin Missy: Semi-great thing, yes.

Question: Well it sounds like ye’ve got yer expectations good and balanced! Now picture this; the treasure chest is slippin’. Ye can only grab one piece o’ treasure. Do you grab the gold coin, the jewel, or the silver trinket?

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Jollier Interview: Brian Collis

Welcome to the latest edition of the Jollier Roger interview. Today we sit down with Brian Collis, a good shipmate to have, and we ask him a few piratey questions. So without much more delay, here we go!

Question 1 – First things first, why should ye be a pirate? Tell us!

Answer: All rivers lead to the sea, and all human souls try ‘n follow. I’m sure that’s why everyone in a landlocked environment deep down is sad and unfulfilled. They may say otherwise, but I’m convinced they’re lyin, tryin desperately to justify livin where they can’t smell the brine. Once on the sea o’ course, a pirate’s life is the clear choice… Cut off from all human institutions, at the mercy o wind and tide is how to achieve the freedom the soul seeks.

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Jollier Interview: Ruben Cordova

Arghhh, maties! Get ready for another Jollier Interview. We sat down with pirate Ruben Cordova to ask him some piratey questions. Here’s what he had to say.


Question: Let’s start out with the basics. What is the most piratical thing about ye?

Ruben: Me ugly face and me evil eyes.

Question: Two fine qualifications. So then, if ye had a ship, what kind would she be, what would ye name her, and for what reason would ye jump ship?

Ruben: So I think I have me a sloop and her name be “The Wicked Sea Wench” I would never jump ship for I be Captain a Captain goes down with the ship.

Question: Hear, hear! Next… Suppose ye’re at sea and some coins o’ yers go missing. It’s either the cook, the cooper, or the rigger who stole them. Which one do ye blame first?

Ruben: I accuse the cook cause fer the scallywag have free range of the ship whilst we on deck

Question: Aye! But later on, suppose, ye find ye just misplaced them coins. Do ye make a clean breast of it at the sake o’ yer pride, or concoct a grand story about how it’s still the cook who took them?

Ruben: I make a grand story of the whole thing and have the cook flogged. Fear keeps a tight ship.

Question: Can’t argue with that! and between the evil eyes and the flogging, ye seem all set. All ye need now is a pirate pet, and it can’t be a bird of any sort. What do ye pick?

Ruben: A large Frilled Lizard



And thar we go! Another exhilarating interview with another fine pirate. Now I ask, does any mother’s sons (or daughters) of ye want to be next? All ye need to do is like pirates. Can’t get much simpler than that! Message us, or speak up in the comments below.

Dogban on Pirate #Torture

“Some people ask me, they says, ‘Dogban… You’re the first mate aboard The Bottle. You sail wiff Cap’n Roberts alls the time. Does he torture folks?’ And the answer I always gives ’em is ‘Aye, aye!’ Though, the cap’n never did things the usual way. He believes torture should be instructive. So, if he catches ya drinkin’, he makes ya drink ’til ya give back more than ya took. He doesn’t like plank walking, though he does sometimes dip offenders in oil. Cold oil. And then there’s squid-slapping, bilge-mopping, and Tenika, she’s the best stinkin’ torture tool he’s got! Get it-?”

– First Mate Dogban

Jollier Interviews

Here at Jollier Roger Cove, we strive to unite all pirates under one banner. That’s not entirely true, but it sounds mighty nice when ye say it! Anyhow, we do like hearin’ from fellow pirates, swashbucklers, privateers, and all manner o’ scurvy dogs with a love for the high seas and those bold adventurers.

So, we want to interview ye! Doesn’t matter if ye’re a real-life pirate or ye read a book or so. Let us know if ye’d like to answer a few fun questions, and we’ll send ’em yer way. Then yer interview will appear here on the Cove, and on the Jollier Roger Facebook page, which is boomin’ by the by!

Here be the rules:

√ Ye must have fun.

√ Ye must be a human, or a parrot.

√ Ye must keep it clean. We’ve grandmums who visit this page, by thunder!

√ Ye must have fun.

If ye’re thinkin’ ye can swing that, or if ye know a mate who could, use this contact form to, well, contact us. Thar be a good chance ye’ll get picked, but if not, there be always the next time!

Crew Interview: Grandmum Roberts

Welcome us back, mates! It’s been a long while since we’ve interviewed the cast of Jollier Roger, but here we are to pick up where we left off. In light of Jollier Roger 2 landing ashore last month, we will be gettin’ to know the new crew members of THE BOTTLE, and some old foes as well!

Today we have a new crew member and a enemy all wrapped in one. Please welcome to the Cove… Grandmum Roberts! Continue reading

Spotlight Saturday: Green Bandana


Good to see ye all once again, me mates and rogues! We took a good while off to focus on putting Jollier Roger and the Golden Cross into print, and we did just that! Now ye can purchase a physical copy of the thrilling and hilarious tale for $9.99! Can’t go wrong with that.

But anyhoo, we’re back with another Spotlight Saturday, and this time we’re sittin’ down with the most unlucky sailor to ever sail the seas; Green Bandana!

*Subtle clappin’ as the pirate takes the stage*

Green Bandana: … Ahoy.

Host: Glad to have ye here… in one piece! Har ha! Heh. Ahem, so tell us first things first, how old be ye?

Green Bandana: Lesse… Twenty-five I think. Can’t much tell; ya don’t age on The Bottle.

Host: Hmm, true. Still, I’m surprised ye made it to such a ripe age with all the poor luck ye’ve suffered. How’d ye do it?

Green Bandana: Well, uh, once you have ‘nough bad luck, ya learn when to predict it, like. Also, this ‘ere bandana is lucky. S’why I always wear it.

Host: I see, I see. And that’s how ye got the name.

Green Bandana: Name?

Host: Never mind. What would ye say is the most unlucky thing to ever happen to ye?

Green Bandana: Besides joining the jollier crew?

Host: Aye, besides that.

Green Bandana: Well, there was this time I were helping load cargo, when the chain-

Host: Eh, that’s good enough. So! We have a fan question here, which is odd since I didn’t know ye had any. Being that ye’ve had some… fairly unfortunate accidents aboard The Bottle sailing under Captain James Roberts, well… what’s biting the big one like?

Green Bandana: Well, you never know ’til it hits ya, right?

Host: Er, I suppose. Makes sense to me! And last but not least, let’s talk color. Was green yer choice, or if ye could go back and do things over, would ye pick a different color?

Green Bandana: Hmm. I like lime.

Host: Aye…?

Green Bandana: Aye! I’d pick lime.

Host: Well, and there ye go! Another interview frapped up and ready to toss over the gunnels. Hope ye enjoyed this little excursion into the unsound minds of the jollier crew, and until next time; stay jollier!

Interview With Author Cristi Taijeron

Ahoy thar, me hearties! Today we’ve a special interview with the author o’ Endless Horizon Pirate Stories; Cristi Taijeron! I’m your host; Host, and I’ve got some pretty good questions about pirates and pirate tales.

So, let’s get started!

cristi taijeron

Host: Welcome to the Cove, Cristi! Yer first question is this; what made ye want to write about pirates, besides that they be awesome?

Cristi Taijeron: I have always loved pirates! Being a rebel soul all of my life, it’s the power and freedom expressed in a life of piracy which allures me to express it through my art. I’ve been drawing ships since I was young and have always loved the look of the Jolly Roger flag, but when I began researching the history of piracy for this story, that is when the true obsession took hold.

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Spotlight Saturday: Captain James Roberts

...on Sunday!

…on Sunday!

Ahoy thar, ladies and maties, and welcome to yet another Spotlight Saturday, where we sit down with characters from the newestish pirate humor/adventure novel, Jollier Roger! Which, by the by, were just released March 14th, and is now available in the Kindle Store.

Today we have a very special interview with the Jollier Roger hisself, Captain James Roberts. So without further delay, give a hand or a hook to the man of the hour!

*Much clappin’ ensues as the captain comes to the stage, and has hisself a seat*

Host: Welcome aboard, captain!

Captain James Roberts: Thank you, Mister Host.

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Spotlight Saturday: Kirk, Dirk, and Jerk


Well! Welcome again to the lot a’ ye; Spotlight Saturday be the name o’ the game, where I interview some a’ the important (and strange) characters from the upcoming pirate humor/adventure novel, Jollier Roger!

… Which is set to be released MARCH 14th! So actually, this here be the final pre-release interview, as the next one will take place one day after the big event. Next week, we’ll be sittin’ down with Jollier Roger himself to talk about the book, but for now, please welcome the three lowliest skeletons to ever sail the seven seas; Kirk, Dirk, and Jerk!

*The audience cheers, then slows as the three identical skeletons appear*

Sharp-voiced Gibbeter: Lookie there, boys! It be a bunch of peoples who cant stop slappin’ there hands together!
Thick-voiced Gibbeter: What ya reckon that’s alls about?
Nondescript Gibbeter: Hmm. Ah! There must be flies buzzing around them!
Sharp-voiced Gibbeter: That’s it, all right! And they’re tryin’ to scare ’em away!

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